Running on Empty

Don't panic. It's not actually Halloween yet. This isn't even a Halloween picture; it's a snapshot from my last half marathon. Yes really. Hey, if I can homeschool in heels, I can certainly run a half marathon in a tiara and a clamshell bra! And in my defense, it was the Disney Princess Half Marathon.

So have I mentioned before that I'm a runner? I use that term loosely because sometimes I run and sometimes I don't. Right now, I don't. But over the course of the past decade, I've logged my share of miles . . . 11 marathons, 2 Ironman triathlons, assorted other stuff.

I'm not one of those people who can't survive without my daily run. Don't get me wrong - I love how running makes me feel. That's just not my main reason for doing it.

So what is? For me, running has always been a learning experience. It's taught me to slow down. It's taught me to be (a teeny tiny little bit more) patient. It's taught me that it's okay to do things I'm not "good" at. It's taught me that the race isn't always won at the finish.

Most recently, my biggest running accomplishment has been deciding not to run. After completing the Goofy Challenge in January (running both the Disney Half Marathon on Saturday and Disney Marathon on Sunday), I immediately signed up for the 2010 race.

But as time to start training drew near, I knew that I just didn't have it in me. My passion is elsewhere these days, and I felt that running would be one time commitment too many right now. I'm a homeschooling mom. I work two (freelance writing) jobs at night. I'm a bellydance student and a member of one of our studio's performing troupes. It's not my time to be a runner, too.

Backing out was hard. If I commit to doing something - I generally do it. But I think that - finally - I'm learning my limits and that sometimes what's best for me is (gasp!) doing what's best for me. I'm learning that I can't do everything (at least not at the same time). And I'm learning to be okay with that.